


Amnesia Song Fic (Klance)

by amazon_river



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer, Angst, Domestic Violence, Drinking, Drunk Driving, Langst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad, Sad Ending, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Soul-Crushing, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, klangst, slight nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 08:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazon_river/pseuds/amazon_river
Summary: so much damn angst





	Amnesia Song Fic (Klance)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I recently re-discovered this song, and I was just hit with so much emotion that I had to write a fic about or involving it and this is what happened. I really recommend listening to the song. You don't have to while you're reading it, but definitely before so that you feel the power of the words. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Lance’s POV

_I drove by all the places  
We used to hang out getting wasted_

The bar, Altea. I saw it in my rear-view mirror through blurry tears. I remember the nights we spent there, Keith and I. We’d call an uber so we could both drink, and waltz in there like we owned the place. We basically did, the facility manager was his brother’s girlfriend. 

I remember the last time we went together. He seemed off, and I couldn’t figure out why. I said something to him, and he shrugged it off, insisting he just needed a drink.

We drank and danced and had the time of our lives. So I thought, at least. He still seemed off, even after four beers and a few shots. Eventually, we got tired, and called an uber home.

_I thought about our last kiss  
How it felt, the way it tasted_

We stumbled in the door, hands roaming and hips moving. After all that dancing, I couldn’t wait to get a taste of him. Seeing him move his hips like that was mesmerizing.

After minutes of ruthless teasing, our lips finally connected. We slotted together like we were meant to be, like we were made for each other. His hands ran through my hair, my hands on his waist, pulling him infinitely closer. I couldn’t get enough of him, the feel of his tongue swiping across my lips, begging for entrance. Granting it, and feeling his reaction to the whine that left my mouth.

And oh, the taste. He tasted like tequila and beer, burning included. I could feel myself getting even more drunk off the taste of him. Or maybe that was just the heat from the kiss. However, through all that, he tasted utterly and completely like Keith. There was no way to describe it, it was just... Keith. 

_And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine_

I continued driving, tearing my gaze away from the burnt-out lights of the entrance to focus on the road. Funny though, how soon I won’t need to. I glanced away from the road, and picked up my phone. I dialed in Hunk’s number, not expecting him to pick up at the late hour. 

Surprisingly, he picked up after the third ring. His voice was lighthearted, like he had just been laughing. He greeted me, and asked how I was.

I told him I was fine, and I could practically hear the frown in his tone. He always knew when I was lying. Ever the mind reader, he started telling me about Keith. Yeah, he’s doing really well, he’d say. He found someone who really makes him happy.

That hit hard. I played like it didn’t, though, and quickly ended the conversation.

_Are you somewhere feeling lonely  
Even though he’s right beside you_

I thought about what Hunk said. I doubted it was true. Keith was always better at hiding his emotions than I was. One of the many things I loved about him though was that he never had to around me. He was always his true, unfiltered self when we were alone.

I felt tears prick my eyes, and sped up. I was going over the speed limit, but who cares, right? It’s not like anybody was actually concerned about my safety anymore. Not anyone that mattered, anyway.

_When he says those words that hurt you  
Do you read the ones I wrote you?_

Funnily enough, I actually know the guy Keith’s with now. We dated in high school, and everybody thought we were the cutest couple on campus. We were lovey-dovey, always making eyes at each other. Always passing notes in class. Getting caught in janitor’s closets, empty classrooms, everywhere. He was the perfect boyfriend. To the public eye, at least.

When it was just the two of us though, things were not so great. In private, it was all yelling, beating, screaming, blaming, more beating, and even more yelling. He blamed all his problems on me, even the ones I had nothing to do with. Somehow, he always looped it back to me. Somehow, it was always my fault he failed his test. Always my fault his phone broke again, even though he’s the one who threw it against the wall. It was horrible. I hated it. But I feared what would happen if I left.

And now Keith was dating this guy. Sometimes I saw them around campus, and they were the image of perfection. Holding hands, kissing, walking each other to class, etc. But I saw the way Keith flinched when he grabbed his arm. I knew there must have been a bruise there. I know, I’ve experienced it myself.

I just hope, that when he’s yelling and screaming and punching, maybe you read the notes I wrote for you that one Valentine’s Day.

I had a big date planned for Keith and me. I cooked him dinner, spent all my money on expensive wine, and spent hours decorating the little nook under the tree in my backyard we loved to lay under. However, the best part was the set up. It started at Keith’s locker. 

The first note. _“You drive me crazy, babe. Go find your car ;)”_

I spent hours thinking up corny pick-up lines, creating a treasure hunt for him. An adventure that he would remember forever. Eventually, it would lead to me, and our date would begin. It was the most romantic night of my life.

_I remember the day you told me you were leaving_

You didn’t even directly tell me. There was no closure. I woke up the morning after the last night we spent together. I rolled over in bed, expecting to feel you next to me, like you were every morning. Like you had been for the past three years. But you weren’t there, and I sat up immediately. I glanced around, trying to calm myself down. It’s fine, he probably just got up to get breakfast, or shower, I thought. With this in mind, I got up out of bed and started towards the front of the house, not noticing the note on the bedside table.

_“goodbye, Lance”_

_And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
Like every single wish we ever made_

He wanted to be a teacher. He loved kids, and they loved them. It was his dream, to work with kids. He loved seeing their faces light up when they finally understood a difficult concept. He craved it, it was all he ever wanted to do.

Where we were, he could live that dream. There was a school down the block that was hiring second grade teachers. Keith was ecstatic. That same night he saw the flyer, he turned in his resumé with a hopeful click, his face too close to the screen. Realizing nothing was going to happen immediately, he slowly turned to me and smiled the widest I’ve ever seen him. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t smile right back.

Later, we were lying under the tree in my backyard, gazing at the stars. I took his hand in mine, and when he turned to look at me, I looked back. There was a soft smile on my face, which only got wider as I continued to look at him. He asked why I was looking at him like that. I told him the truth. That even out here, in the pale moonlight, surrounded by stars and soft grass and swaying trees, even amongst all the beauty in the world, he was the only thing I saw. The only thing that drew my attention. In the soft light of the sky, I could see the light dusting of freckles across his nose, a souvenir from our times at the beach. That we could be in a room full of the most well-renowned art, and he would still be the greatest masterpiece. That even with all his flaws and all his temper tantrums, (he argued at this), I love him.

That was the first time I’d spoken this out loud. The first time either of us had said it. My heart was pounding in anticipation, hoping my confession would be well-received. He looked at me for a moment, and I could see the stars in his eyes. I could see a blush starting to crawl up his neck to his cheeks, eventually reaching his ears. I smiled wider at this. He noticed, and flushed further and turned away. I heard him mumble something incoherent, and I asked him to repeat it. I knew what he had said, I just wanted to hear it again. He repeated it slightly louder, loud enough to be heard. However, to tease him, I asked him to repeat it once more. Frustrated, he turned to me with a determination in his eyes and practically shouted. I smiled impossibly further, and leaned in for a kiss.

The kiss was just like every other, however, this time, it seemed more… genuine. More love put into it. I could practically feel the words on his lips, tasting them. This kiss was passionate, but not with hot and needy desire, but with contentment. With the satisfaction that we were here, together, alive. That the universe had put the two of us together to be here in this moment, two fools in love. Eventually the kiss broke, and I pulled away slightly so I could look at him again. I voiced aloud that I wished we could stay like this forever.

_Me, too._

_I wish that I could wake up with amnesia_  
And forget about these stupid little things  
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
And the memories I never can escape 

I could feel the tears streaming, now. As I got closer to my destination, I became more reckless. I sped through yellow lights, I weaved in and out of cars, desperate to be done. I just wanted to forget. I didn’t want to think about him any more. I didn’t want to think about the way his eyes light up when he smiles. I didn’t want to think about how he curled up on the couch when he made tea, knees and elbows tucked close to him. I didn’t want to think about how his lockscreen used to be a picture of us. I didn’t want to think about him changing it while we were still together. I didn’t want to think about how when I asked about it, he re-directed the conversation somewhere else. I didn’t want to think about all the now obvious warning signs, the red flags, the suspicious behavior. I just didn’t want to think.

_Cause I’m not fine at all_

I skidded to a halt on the side of the bridge. I threw my head back on the headrest, staring at the torn roof lining of the stolen car. I glanced to the passenger seat, occupied by empty bottles of booze and dirty tissues. I knew the police would be here soon because of the stolen car, so I didn’t have much time. Before I could change my mind, I clumsily unbuckled my seatbelt and stumbled out of the car. I walked around the front and stood at the railing, not giving myself time to hesitate before I climbed up on it.

I sat there, looking down at the churning water of the river, trying not to think. After all, that’s what the booze was for right? So I didn’t have to think? I glanced down again, feeling woozy at the height. I leaned back again, lifting my head up to look at the sky. It was gloomy and grey, and I could see dark clouds forming in the distance. It was going to rain. I glanced back down, preparing myself for what was to come. I took a deep breath, willing something, someone, to stop me. I really didn’t want this. I didn’t want to die. But it was the only option. The only way to escape this mind-numbing pain I felt constantly, never ceasing to pummel my thoughts with dark ones. Just do it, he doesn’t care about you, he never did. That’s why he left you. You were never good enough for him, you’ll never be good enough for anyone.

Seeing no reason to stop, I stood up on the railing, standing taller than I ever had. I could feel the wind pulling my hair this way and that, creating a whirlwind around me. I braced myself, and leaned forward a tiny bit. Just enough for the wind to catch, and propel me forwards. I could feel the world tilting around me as I felt myself about to fall. I closed my eyes, emotions a swirling mess inside me.

_“Lance!”_

I swiveled around at the all-too familiar voice, but it was too late. I was falling. My feet had left the railing, and I was plummeting backwards toward the rushing waters of the river. I yelled, I kicked, I willed myself back up because no, I didn’t want this, I didn’t want to die. Through the endless tears streaming out of my eyes, I could see him at the top of the bridge, leaning over the railing as far as he could without falling off. I reached for him, crying for help, please, someone, help, I don’t want to die. But my pleas were unheard, cut off by the force of my body hitting the water, impact shattering my bones, killing me instantly.

Hopefully, he’ll find the note left on the seat of the stolen car.

_“goodbye, Keith”_


End file.
